officialunitedstates:

you:  tries to roast me with a lame yo mama joke

me:  looks you up on ancestry.com, finds out that your great grandmother was banished from her lithuianian village because no one liked her, writes a six page allegorical story that roasts your great grandmother, then reads it to your significant other to get them to despise you


  • Me: I wanna do something
  • Anxiety:
  • Anxiety:
  • Anxiety:
  • Anxiety:
  • Anxiety:
  • Anxiety: No you dont
  • Me: But
  • Anxiety: No


↖The owner of this blog is too emotionally attached to fictional characters

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad


twentydeepsteps:

twentydeepsteps:

I ACCIDENTALLY PRINTED A VERY TINY VERSION OF MY ASSIGNMENT & IM GONNA HAND IT IN AS A JOKE

update on this post; my prof laughed so hard she cried and she’s going to show it to all of her teacher friends omg

twentydeepsteps:

twentydeepsteps:

I ACCIDENTALLY PRINTED A VERY TINY VERSION OF MY ASSIGNMENT & IM GONNA HAND IT IN AS A JOKE

update on this post; my prof laughed so hard she cried and she’s going to show it to all of her teacher friends omg


a-blog-named-slickback:

last-of-the-gallifreyans:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

OH MY GOD STOP SAYING THAT DOCTORS SHOULDN’T SAY ‘IT’S A BOY’ OR ‘IT’S A GIRL’ AT BIRTH

IT’S NOT ABOUT ‘FORCING GENDER ROLES ON BABIES’ IT’S ABOUT ENSURING THAT THE CHILD GETS THE BEST CARE POSSIBLE BASED ON THEIR BIOLOGICAL SEX JFC

anyways what else would they say if they can’t announce boy or girl.

"it’s a thing!" 

yeah that’s not gonna work.

"It sure is a baby alright"


parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled


shodobear:

stunningpicture:

A grape, wearing a raspberry.

I am froot.

shodobear:

stunningpicture:

A grape, wearing a raspberry.

I am froot.


katiegeewhiz:

I REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

katiegeewhiz:

I REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS



stereobone:

THAT character???? haha wow no they are definitely not my favorite *puts flowers in their hair* absolutely not what a complete nerd *wraps up in blankets* i dk who they even are tbh *viciously protects from everything awful ever* haha please stop looking at me



tamashiihiroka:

solar-citrus:

You would be surprised with how many people in your life could be going through depression at this very moment.  People hide it like a paper bag over their heads out of fear of being judged, made fun of, seen as weak, or just not taken seriously.  Depression should not be taken lightly, it holds us down from our purpose and potential in life.  Those who tell you that it doesn’t exist have never experienced depression in their life, therefore not understanding the symptoms and how it’s something that cannot be fixed in a day!  So if you think you are depressed or if you think you know someone else who is, please talk to a friend, a family member, or anyone else in your life that you trust - never overlook the possibility of seeing a doctor for more professional help!!  Your feelings are real, your feelings are shared upon millions.  Don’t hide it, talk to someone about it.  With the right help, you can rediscover your confidence and begin life anew with our undying love and support!

We are right here!!

Often, people hide it because they don’t believe they deserve help or love. So don’t wait for the invitation. Let the people you love know it whether you think they might be depressed or not.